


I Wanna Animal Shelter You

by Igris



Category: Swiss Army Man (2016)
Genre: Animal AU, Title from "Demons" by Imagine Dragons, Who knew water voles were a thing?, try not to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8382463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igris/pseuds/Igris
Summary: Hank is a sad cat. Manny is a water vole. This is just crazy.





	

“MEOW.” Hank the cat was sitting on the shore of a beach, his fur damp. You could say the pussy was wet. But nobody was around to say that. This kitty was riding solo. Nice. It was a hard life, being a cat lost by the sea. Mostly he was lonely and wanted to die but cats are notoriously bad at suicide.

Unlike that dead animal floating by. That animal was pretty dead. Maybe, thought the cat whose name was Hank, maybe if I eat this animal I will die. It was clearly rotten. It might make him sick and then he might die. 

But then.

It spoke.

“Eat me! Do it you pussy! Also my name is Manny.”

It spoke in a nasally, vole-y kind of way. This was probably because it was, in fact, a vole. A water vole. With the bluest vole eyes. Although all voles have black eyes. He was floating pretty close to the shore, and even though Hank was a cat and therefore hated water, he decided this vole was worth getting wet for. It would be so hard… to get him out of the water.

He decided to just lie in the sun and die instead. 

El fin-

 

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

(But...that's a story for another time.)

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXMskKTw3Bc


End file.
